BEFORE YOU READ THE ANSWERS TO THE FOLLOWING QUESTIONS, first go up to the preceding blog where I write on “Two questions all kids are asking.”

1. What do you think about using “grounding” or “timeout” as a form of discipline? I personally believe that “grounding” is way over rated. When kids are grounded for months, weeks, (or even just sometimes days) at a time, I sense it only breeds bitterness into their soul. They feel the length of grounding  outweighs the crime committed. And much of the time they may indeed be right. Often times I see parents just… Continue Reading →

As parents, it is right for us to set guidelines and reinforce them. Kids need that. We error however, when we reinforce them in a reactionary manner – usually the result of us taking offense at their disobedience. How do we know if we are “reactionary?” Usually we hear it in our tone if not in our words. We are shaming, angering, or just plain yelling.

The Bible says to be careful not to provoke our children to wrath. I fear we do that in a number of ways, one of them is by reacting to our kids in the above manner. The best way to speak to our children when disciplining is to be matter of fact. We tell them “no” or talk about what they have done wrong in a matter of fact sort of way so that they hear it clearly, but are not shamed or made afraid. To do so, we must exercise self control – a fruit of the Spirit. Or another way of saying that is – it takes God in us and us seeking God.

I pray that YOU will experience God at work in your parenting!

…so many questions…so many concerns.  Should I?  Should I not?  What is best for the kids?  How does one know whether to pursue a divorce or not?

If these are the kinds of questions going through your mind please CLICK HERE and take time to read this online booklet published by Focus on the Family.  It contains valuable information to consider.  And if still in doubt, give me a call – even if its for a one time consultation.  I will pray and seek God’s direction with you as we talk!

“One of the best wedding gifts God gave you was a full-length mirror called your spouse.  Had there been a card attached, it would have said, “Here’s to helping you discover what you’re really like!”    — Gary and Betsy Ricucci


What a gift, huh?  We have all been on the receiving end of our spouse pointing something out to us that we weren’t really excited about hearing.  No doubt… we have all been on the giving side of such “wonderful news” as well.   And if I were to guess, rarely have those occasions been award winning experiences for either party!   Funny thing — hardly a one of us would say “we are totally put together” and yet equally as true, we don’t like it when someone makes us aware of what’s still undone.

The reality is we all have blind spots.  Jeremiah 17: 9 NLT says:   “The human heart is the most deceitful of all things, and desperately wicked.  Who really knows how bad it is?”   And in most cases, it is these blind spots – things we don’t see about ourselves – that cause problems in our marriages.   What is God’s remedy for blindness? Continue Reading →

Years ago I had a profound experience – a touch of Grace. It left me doubled over and weeping as I marveled at Christ’s love for me. It was a moment so personal and sacred that I am hesitant whenever prompted to share it. I had been listening to one more story of childhood abuse. It was horrific. How can people do such things I thought? And then I thought, how can God allow such evil on earth resulting in unbearable suffering? I felt anger… and the more I thought about it, the angrier I became. It wasn’t long before I found myself enraged at sin and the world around us, but even far more so at God! How could He permit such things to take place? Why would He?

Then it happened… Continue Reading →

I Peter 3: 7 “Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.”


It has often been said that prayer is essential to experiencing a great marriage. Whereas no doubt this is true, Gary Thomas suggests another perspective that is very worth noting in the chapter: “Good Marriage Fosters Good Prayer.”In referencing the scripture above he notes the following connection… Continue Reading →

Recently I was asked what I felt were the top six qualities that would go into making a great marriage. It wasn’t too hard to come up with six, and even more. Below in fact are what I believe to be the top 12 characteristics of a successful marriage. Looking ahead to the New Year, I plan to write in detail about one of the 12 characteristics each month. Might I suggest that you focus on that one area for each month, praying and seeking God for change in you and your marriage. I believe if you do, this will prove to be a great year for you and your spouse. Join me and let’s get started!

12 Characteristics of a Great Marriage… Continue Reading →

I wonder – just wonder – how many couples actually take time to pray together every day. To be honest, it has only been the last 4 or 5 years that my wife and I have experienced the blessings of doing so ourselves. It’s not that we had never prayed together before. It’s just that… we hadn’t made it a priority to do every day. At a marriage conference we attended (yes even marriage counselors can keep on learning) we were challenged to find a consistent time we could pray every day and do so. The effect? It’s been good…real good. Not every time, but overall. Some days I don’t feel like praying…I’m tired, bummed, or frustrated so Zerrin carries us to the throne. Sometimes it’s the other way around. It is a humbling yet enriching experience that has drawn us closer together.

Here’s some pointers to help in developing this time together: Continue Reading →

When Paul writes in I Corinthians 13…that “love bears all things…” what did he mean? The Amplified version says: “love bears up under anything and everything that comes…” Anything and EVERYTHING? That sounds very similar to the commitment most of us made before a Pastor, a congregation, our family, and our spouse…”till death do us part.” Unfortunately it seems as though too many couples – Christians included – have forgotten that part.

The latest statistics Continue Reading →

Here’s the bottom line: If we REALLY want to have a great marriage, then we must become like Christ. He alone was and is the greatest example to us in every regard. When it comes to humility there is no greater picture than Jesus Christ… who according to Paul in Philippians 2 wrote that our attitude “should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death—even death on a cross!” NIV

There is SO MUCH that could be said of these verses… Continue Reading →