Here’s the bottom line: If we REALLY want to have a great marriage, then we must become like Christ. He alone was and is the greatest example to us in every regard. When it comes to humility there is no greater picture than Jesus Christ… who according to Paul in Philippians 2 wrote that our attitude “should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death—even death on a cross!” NIV
There is SO MUCH that could be said of these verses… Jesus…God the Son…made Himself “nothing!” What? Everything made Himself NOTHING? How preposterous! He took on the nature of a Servant? The King of Kings serving his creatures? That’s outlandish! Christ humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death on a cross? The most righteous One dying a criminal’s death? How utterly absurd! And this is the “attitude” we are to take on! Nothing… serving… obeying… dying! Ouch! That’s what it takes? Just think of the humility it would take for God Himself to do what He did for you and I here on earth. I honestly can hardly even begin to imagine! The God of the Universe became nothing, to serve, to obey, and to die for you and I!
The next time you get a response from your spouse you think you don’t deserve, remember Christ who was treated the same way throughout His life and death – but He loved you anyway! If we consider ourselves “nothing” as Christ did, it is impossible to take offense. When thinking of how to bless your spouse, think of a way to serve them.
Perhaps the most mind-boggling picture of heaven to me is found in Luke chapter 12. It speaks in reference to those who are found prepared and serving while waiting for the Lord to return. We see Christ putting on an apron, seating His guests, and serving them! If Jesus Christ, the King of Kings lived His life as a servant and will serve us even in eternity, how much more should we live our lives to serve our spouse and those around us? His humility ought to inspire us all to do the same!i
Husbands when you know the right loving thing to say or do, and wives when you know the right respectful thing to say or do but don’t want to, remember the obedience of Christ who said “not my will Lord but yours be done!” And when everything inside of you cries “this isn’t fair” in response to something your spouse just said or did, think of Christ who completely gave up all rights and in fact died for you and I.
Humility is needed to admit you are wrong when you are sure the other is more wrong. Humility is that which enables you to learn from another’s criticism rather than take offense. Humility frees you to admit you are absolutely in need of God and not all sufficient. Humility is a grace you simply cannot afford to be without.
I love that you mentioned puittng your spouse first. So many couples often put their children, work, hobbies, etc., first, and the marriage suffers. In our house it’s always been marriage first, children second, and our individual wants (not needs, there is a difference) come last.Communication was the hard one for my husband and me, as we both tend to explain things differently. Once we started talking about how we communicated individually and found ways to have things make sense to the other, discussions went much smoother.
Thanks for your reply!