Zerrin and I have some good friends who went to a colleague of mine for marriage counseling. The interesting thing is they weren’t aware of anything plaguing their marriage – they were simply going for a “check-up.” My friend told me that when he and his wife first got married, they committed to each other that after 5 years of marriage, they would spend a minimum of 4 weeks…
with a counselor to evaluate how well they were doing and work on any rough spots. Imagine that – a “marital checkup” just like you’d bring your car in for a routine tune up every so many miles! What an idea! It is like preventative medicine!
This same friend has regularly set aside time for he and his wife to go to seminars on marriage, read books on marriage, get away for week-end excursions, and more. And guess what? They have a great marriage! I wonder how that could be? Oh, it’s not perfect – remember he’s my friend – but it’s solid. They enjoy being with each other. They work at resolving conflict and they have fun together. They also have a shared vision and mission in life. Periodically we spend time together as couples to see how we’re doing – mini tune ups for both of us if you will. And it only gets better. Both of us are nearly at that stage in life where our kids will be out of the house – and we’re so glad that we still like our spouses. It helps a great deal when it’s just the two of you living in the same house!
Many times I have expressed to couples that I wished they had come to me for counseling when there was simply a fire in the kitchen rather than wait till their house of marriage had burnt to the ground. It’s not impossible to re-build when that happens, but it is sure a lot easier to simply put out the fire in the kitchen!
How about you? Are you and your spouse doing all you can to make your marriage as best it can be? With Christ in our lives, and all the resources available to us today, we should be having the best marriages in the history of our nation! Unfortunately that’s not the case. The busyness of life, apathy in our spiritual lives, sexual temptation abounding every where you turn, and an ever decreasing commitment to work thru difficulties no matter what the cost is eroding away marriages – the core building block of society.
If there was ever a need to be growing in character, becoming more like Christ it is now. I wish to challenge every couple reading this article – do WHATEVER IT TAKES to make your marriage the best it can be. For the sake of our nation, each other, your kids, your future generations, and for the sake of the gospel – DO WHATEVER IT TAKES!
For those of you who choose to take me up on my challenge, I have two ideas. Go out and buy the book Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas. You won’t find a better book on marriage to help each spouse individually in their pursuit of Christ-like character. Read it…chew on it…talk about it with your spouse and friends…study it in a small group. It is life-changing for sure!
I said I have two ideas. Here’s the second, if anyone reading this would like to follow in my friends footsteps and get a “marital checkup,” give me a call, mention this article and I’ll give you 1/3 off the price of four sessions!